I’ll become a woman and raise children

Admin Angol, YOGA

If I get a woman’s body in my next life, my parents should raise me according to the instructions of the Vedic scriptures to become a chaste woman who is always satisfied with her circumstances. My mother will teach and show me what fidelity, chastity, service attitude, nice and decent behaviour mean. She will warn me when she thinks I behave like a female tiger – I do not want to become a woman who tries to perfect herself by breaking one man’s heart after another’s and even enjoys it.

After my childhood I would like to get marry with a man of a similar nature and values coming from a similar family background. I would move to his place and shape our mutual home according to my own taste. Considering our financial position I make an effort so that after a hard day’s exhausting work my pati(that is how I will call my husband, or maybe prabhu) may arrive in a neat home nicely furnished and decorated every day. He will be welcomed by freshly made warm food and I will talk to him nicely while taking dinner. I will cook meals taught by his mother and I know for sure that they are his favourites. I would like to have many children, boys and girls as well. Of course conception will be accompanied by sacred rites in a sacred consciousness. I would like my children to be meek who are not burdens for anybody, but on the contrary: they are the humble servants of God and society.

And if several decades later an old friend of mine asked me about my secret, the way I could create peace and harmony in our home, I would reply:

You know, we discussed everything with my pati and made every important decision together, especially those that influenced the amount of money to be spent for the household. I never bothered him with small affairs, like what colour the new curtains should be (or do we need them at all), and how much I should spend on food and clothing, or should I dismiss the cheeky charwoman. I was the boss in any questions concerning our home, because it was more important for me than for him – he was not so interested in it. Our home was my field where I lived my life and became successful.

Some of my friends complained a lot saying that they did not have a whole life, they faced no challenges and wanted to have a job and be valued. I do not know what they did wrong but I never wanted to compete with unknown men far away from my home. I never wished to obey to the instructions of my silly boss and I was not eager to be humiliated for any salary. I did not miss stress at work and monotony was always unnatural for me. I like to be surrounded by my beloved family, I love serving them and it is so moving when they are nice to me. Once my little daughter was helping me washing the dishes, she could only reach the sink from stool. She broke a plate from the set, but I was unable to chastise her. Of course I showed her how to do it nicely – just like my mum did, rest her soul – and the accident never happened again.

My husband once met a sannyasi whose association was very inspiring for him. We were both born in families with faith in Vis£u, and we always offered our food as a sacrifice to Laksmi-Naraya£a, our worshipped deities. We always celebrated the festivals, although never surrendered to our religion. But everything changed: pati started to get up at 4 in the morning like in his childhood when he attended the gurukula. He woke the deities, then we sang together and started chanting – we repeated the Hare Krsna mantra. We donated more money, not only for the local temple, but also for the sannyasi’s preaching mission. I had less money for the household, but I did not think it was a problem since we needed only a few things to have a perfect home. Of course I am kidding! I could have spent all the money in the world on nice carpets, pictures and sweet jewels.

I am happy that I could follow my husband in spiritual life as well. Of course he had some flaws, but I did not really care. After four decades I could feel that I could depend on him. He did everything for me, he always comforted me and I never had to worry that he would look for another woman for happiness. When I passed my midlife I was less interested to have the most beautiful saree and the most comfortable sofa. After getting initiation we had to go through hard times that tested our devotion, but I am grateful to my pati that he made me serve Gaura-Nitai and Radha-Krsna.

Our big boy carried on with his father’s profession and inherited his clients. He is wealthy and is living with his wife and children. My daughter married a nice boy. When she was due I helped her bear the child and nurse it. Our younger son became a monk, he is living in an ISKCON-temple distributing books. It was difficult to let him go so far, but his pleasure was always more important to me than mine. He travelled a lot and we could seldom see him.

I had some support in every phase of my life: first my father, then my husband, and after his decease my son took care of me. I am grateful to God that He sent them to me and I could enjoy their shelter throughout my whole life. I am grateful to them as well – I was loved by them so much. Of course I was eager to reciprocate everything. I still love nice sarees, but do not long for new ones. The only thing I desire is to see my pati again somewhere in the spiritual world…

Akhilasraya dasa